Our polity (church government) has the General Synod speak to us but not for us.  General Synod speaks to the congregations and to the world.  Our brothers and sisters in the Presbyterian Church elect people to speak for you.  In the United Church of Christ there is no power (like a bishop or pope) to make a local church do anything.  We work together because we have a covenant agreement to do so, much like a marriage.  Do we agree with every pronouncement of     General Synods? No.  Yet, we often agree with a lot more than we disagree.  So, in a way, we are still married.

Some congregations are withholding OCWM (Our Churches Wider Mission) giving.  When congregations do this, they are not living in covenant anymore.  What I have heard is that these congregations don't want to support the denomination's work around the Equality in Marriage Resolution.  With the exception of informing congregations through mail about this resolution and other resolutions, there have been no dollars spent to develop programs and staff around this controversial issue.  The OWCM dollars staff our associations, conferences and national settings of the United Church of Christ for the various ministries performed in the United States and missionaries around the world.

For some time now, the state has issued wedding licenses and controlled the laws for age requirements, questions around residency, and questions concerning prior marriage and divorce.  When a pastor officiates at a wedding where a marriage covenant is shared, the pastor acts as an agent of the state as "authorized" by the state.  The state allows marriage and the church "blesses" the marriage, which is limited in the State of Ohio to opposite sex couples.  For now, legally, in the State of Ohio, resolution one passed last fall has made the General Synod resolution a mute point.  So, this is not a truly church issue but a civil rights issue with the state.

How is it a civil rights issue?  One example I have seen several times has been medical settings.  When a gay person has a partner of many years, they are sometimes denied access to see their partner in  medical settings.  Legally, sometimes medical teams ignore the partner and go to the "legal" next of kin, with parents or siblings.  If you are gay and want your partner to have that authority, you are prevented from being married by the state.  Some same-sex couples have to pay for various extra legal documents for health or property issues that married couples have automatically.  And, some same-sex partners are denied various benefits a spouse would receive simply because they are married.

This happened with a colleague of mine, recently, when her husband was sick and unable to work for over seven months.  She was able to turn all the credit cards and utilities from his name in to her name as soon as people heard they were married.  She knew this would not be true for others who were same-sex couples and recognized how unfair this was.

I hope to discuss a History of Marriage in a three-part series this spring for adult education class.  One of the things we'll discover or re-discover in that class is that same-sex marriage is not something new but has been around in many cultures.  I admit, I'm learning a lot about the history of marriage in my readings I started this summer.  My research will continue in preparation for that series.  I happen to think this issue will go the way of slavery, or acceptance of divorced people in the church, or acceptance of women in ministry.  Each of those issues took some time before people in the church changed, accepted and affirmed them in their various ministries.  Without that acceptance, this once divorced pastor would not be serving this congregation if their wasn't acceptance and affirmation of my ministry.

Meanwhile, I'm very proud of this congregation.  Statistically, I know we must have some gay, lesbian or transgender people in the congregation or children of members.  Why am I proud?  We are not   fighting over this resolution.  We are not name-calling over this resolution.  Do we all agree, no.  Yet, like a healthy married couple we continue to discuss and learn.  Sometimes we stay the same in our  relationship.  Sometimes we change and admit to our spouse, "You were right and I was wrong."  As a church, we continue to live out the covenant commitment we have with the wider church.  Or, to put it another way, we are still married.

Your partner in ministry,

Bill

The Rev. Dr. William R. Nirote, Pastor